tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2904551769624343498.post5423839379948221216..comments2012-04-03T06:56:02.933-07:00Comments on Room to Swing a 'Cat: Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast?Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2904551769624343498.post-8421552354182106612009-11-02T12:09:03.138-08:002009-11-02T12:09:03.138-08:00I love you, 'Cat. This just proves why. That&#...I love you, 'Cat. This just proves why. That's all. :)Seoul Sisterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11494400427607085487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2904551769624343498.post-71039722338035499482009-11-01T13:39:11.226-08:002009-11-01T13:39:11.226-08:00I know I said this on SHADDAP!, but it's true ...I know I said this on SHADDAP!, but it's true nonetheless. Talking about abuse or neglect (more likely in this case) or just a nasty time in general is NOT necessarily the "healing" experience that some would have you believe it is. <br /><br />"Closure" is a myth - there is no such creature. "Forgetting" can never be done by anyone - all anyone can do is learn to live with whatever it is. "Forgiveness" sounds really nice when Oprah says it, but there are some things that cannot and should not ever be forgiven. <br /><br />Mommy wants daughter to stick a knife into scar tissue and start the bleeding again (Yes, that's what it feels like) for hero own purposes, completely heedless of what her daughter feels about it. Just like when she was drinking.Aunt Messyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07424781871244170075noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2904551769624343498.post-54748052751784252312009-10-31T16:24:13.109-07:002009-10-31T16:24:13.109-07:00Schuyler, great advice. I love the rythm of your...Schuyler, great advice. I love the rythm of your phrases.<br /><br />However, I beg to strongly differ with your comments on LW2. The now adult child doesn't owe anything to her mother, and at any rate the idea that a whole childhood could be discussed over one lunch is ridiculous and grossly insensitive (all those horrible years bandied about as if they hardly happened to the daughter, as if she wasn't marked for life by them...)<br /><br />Yes, giving up drinking is very hard for someone allergic to alcohol (= alcoholic)and such a person who is able to reach sobriety and keep it up for 6 years is to be very much lauded. <br /><br />But:<br /><br />1.She has no right to demand anything from her daughter whom she has failed.<br /><br />2. The daughter shouldn't feel obligated to help her mother's healing. The dynamics are unfortunately clear: if she has the power to help her mother heal, then obviously she must have been instrumental in her mother's alcoholism. Yes, that sounds crazy, but that's how people in this sort of situation think, at least unconsciously. <br /><br />Only an alcoholic who has reached sobriety can help another one. Isn't that the screed of Alcoholics Anonymous? I've been told family members have to be absolutely excluded from the healing process because it doesn't work and they'll just get hurt more.<br /><br />3.Kids of alcoholics are never to be called co-dependent: they have no choice unlike, I'm sorry to say, a spouse (though I wouldn't call myself a co-dependent, a term obviously invented to blame the victim, I was in that situation and thought I could "fix it" but I only got destroyed and had to rebuild myself literally from the ground up).<br /><br />4. Children of alcoholics have a hard time in life: higher rate of suicides and addiction and, so often, PTSD... a sober alcoholic will heal much sooner than his/her kids (perhaps because he/she actually benefits from memory lapses while the kids don't?)<br /><br />I'm speaking from experience: I was married to an alcoholic and had two kids by him before the drink literally took him. Even after he sobered up (very commendably, I wouldn't underestimate what it took) he still retained the personality often (but not always) found in alcoholics: blaming others for their own actions (a match made in hell with someone who tended to feel responsible for things totally out of her control and took the "in sickness and in health" thing seriously, and kept on trying to fix things, even after violence got into the mix.... --believe you me, a hard lesson to learn! I often feel I failed my own kids by not taking them out of that situation sooner, but after a few years I was totally brainwashed into believing that I somehow was to blame for the situation... )<br /><br />5. So to come back to the subject matter under discussion, that amnesic mother is probably healing better and easier than her daughter is... <br /><br />6. So what should that daughter do? I would say don't give in to her mother's demands. Instead, cut off all contact with her until her mother makes proper amends, and that means without the self righteous attitude sometimes (often?) adopted by recovering alcoholics.Katihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05645682203535768013noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2904551769624343498.post-32552910999284235072009-10-30T13:22:02.929-07:002009-10-30T13:22:02.929-07:00EEE - $120? The hell. End run, babe. Already ca...EEE - $120? The hell. End run, babe. Already called the groom, and he's getting me in for a 6 pack of Bud. See you in the back room at the reception, sweet-cheeks!Schuyler =^oo^=https://www.blogger.com/profile/05022527448487356922noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2904551769624343498.post-89780700673985446322009-10-30T12:38:03.810-07:002009-10-30T12:38:03.810-07:00& then EEE responded to Schuyler, & took t...& then EEE responded to Schuyler, & took the gold for the day.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09057978657988465722noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2904551769624343498.post-39822719570715082222009-10-30T12:34:51.978-07:002009-10-30T12:34:51.978-07:00You're only invited if you pre-address and com...You're only invited if you pre-address and compose your own thank you card AND you'll need to pay me $120 for your meal.<br /><br />But yeah! You can even beat the shit out of me.<br /><br />Instead of the Dollar Dance (how tacky!) we're doing "Beat the Bride for a Buck!"EEEhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11438835105087387845noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2904551769624343498.post-72164644983191179872009-10-30T10:27:19.006-07:002009-10-30T10:27:19.006-07:00Your answers are outstanding. But your answer to E...Your answers are outstanding. But your answer to EEE here? You outdid yourself. & Mermaid? Great answer from you there, too. Loved the palm-to-brain payment plan. Good stuff.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09057978657988465722noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2904551769624343498.post-14976983497583133992009-10-30T08:23:02.931-07:002009-10-30T08:23:02.931-07:00EEE - This is appalling. I do not understand some...EEE - This is appalling. I do not understand some women, how you can just stand there and take it. You obviously get what you deserve Monday through Saturday, but I find it disgusting that he beats you on Sundays, a day of rest. You tell him I said so, and to do you twice Saturday instead.<br /><br />Oh: White and ivory are so gauche and 1985. Darker red, to hide the blood (darker to split the difference in color as it dries), and do up the bridesmaids in a blueish-purple to match those facial bruises you can't quote cover with foundation alone: if you can't fix it, feature it! Am I invited?Schuyler =^oo^=https://www.blogger.com/profile/05022527448487356922noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2904551769624343498.post-17643603148542710892009-10-30T08:22:14.803-07:002009-10-30T08:22:14.803-07:00Righteous. LW#1 would have gotten one chance with ...Righteous. LW#1 would have gotten one chance with me. One. Next time I'd have slammed the heel of my palm into the bottom of his nose until it shoved it up into his brain.Mermaidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17583754215885030959noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2904551769624343498.post-42175519474963560662009-10-30T07:38:17.892-07:002009-10-30T07:38:17.892-07:00Dear Schuyler,
My boyfriend is absolutely perfect...Dear Schuyler,<br /><br />My boyfriend is absolutely perfect. Except for one small thing.... He beats the shit out of me every day and twice on Sundays.<br /><br />I've told him I don't appreciate this but he just laughs and smacks me across the mouth.<br /><br />Should I wear white or ivory to our wedding, do you think?EEEhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11438835105087387845noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2904551769624343498.post-24437428689375602142009-10-30T07:37:54.479-07:002009-10-30T07:37:54.479-07:00You're right Messy ~ watching him hobble out w...You're right Messy ~ watching him hobble out would have been great. I just like the thought of leaving him in a drooling, cringing heap of agony in front of his friends.Beckaroo Banzaihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00038142033012213298noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2904551769624343498.post-6865471472509557382009-10-30T07:15:35.991-07:002009-10-30T07:15:35.991-07:00Schuyler, as always, you are right on the money wi...Schuyler, as always, you are right on the money with your advice. And don't you just love how letters like #1 always start out something like, "My boyfriend is the greatest, sweetest, most perfectest guy in the whole wide world. In fact, whenever he makes a poo, I always look around to see if someone planted a rose garden in the bathroom." Whatevs - the guy is a sadist, pure and simple. Being very ticklish myself, I can say without a trace of hyperbole that being aggressively tickled like that is a form of torture. The laughing is an uncontrollable reflex that has nothing to do with fun, and this guy knows it. This isn't about being playful or dense - it's 100% about control. Even if he couldn't relate to what it feels like to be ticklish, the fact that she has asked him to stop multiple times and he thinks he can "train" her to desensitize herself indicates a total lack of respect from this "wonderful, caring" guy. So I vote for your option #1, with the stipulation that she dispenses with the warning altogether and just chomps away at will.Buttershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08090084308920346417noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2904551769624343498.post-59638942946731165802009-10-29T22:57:03.438-07:002009-10-29T22:57:03.438-07:00LW1 is wrong. I tickle my husband's feet while...LW1 is wrong. I tickle my husband's feet while he sleeps, to wake him up, and he loves it. He screams, 'what's wrong with you, bitch?', but that's our special code for 'I love you.' This of course means we are now ready to adopt an alcoholic 12 yr old with a small apartment so we can tickle her, too.christinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13661255354668944656noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2904551769624343498.post-36666806507225220202009-10-29T21:31:49.349-07:002009-10-29T21:31:49.349-07:00I love it when you give the LW choices!I love it when you give the LW choices!poohamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09223311513465648629noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2904551769624343498.post-20313176365561204462009-10-29T19:18:08.424-07:002009-10-29T19:18:08.424-07:00The only thing #1 can really say is "Get lost...The only thing #1 can really say is "Get lost jerk." Anything else, including your suggestions, only encourages him to think he can stick around longer, and may even give him the excuse he thinks he needs to cause some real harm.CoolOnehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12220187158350943016noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2904551769624343498.post-60556559179906196062009-10-29T17:10:17.054-07:002009-10-29T17:10:17.054-07:00Yepper, for LW#1, I advocate Schuyler option #1. ...Yepper, for LW#1, I advocate Schuyler option #1. Excellent stuff! :-)SmagBoy1https://www.blogger.com/profile/06579694369460538262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2904551769624343498.post-58850631694684293642009-10-29T15:22:56.283-07:002009-10-29T15:22:56.283-07:00Beckaroo....it would have been MORE fun to hoof hi...Beckaroo....it would have been MORE fun to hoof him in the nuts, then WATCH him waddle out of the building while you laughed at him. MUCH more fun. <br /><br />I had a cousin that used to do this to me. He still has the scar on his face from the last time he tried it. I was ten at the time. I hit him with a hardcover book, you see... I got in trouble for it, but at least he never tried that again.Aunt Messyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07424781871244170075noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2904551769624343498.post-55304454079180648272009-10-29T14:12:08.469-07:002009-10-29T14:12:08.469-07:00Love your advice!
In my younger days I would'...Love your advice!<br /><br />In my younger days I would've been the idiot (almost) just like LW1. That phase didn't last long though ~ now I'd happily kick him in the balls & laugh as I left the building.Beckaroo Banzaihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00038142033012213298noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2904551769624343498.post-36486702267978061562009-10-29T13:03:40.373-07:002009-10-29T13:03:40.373-07:00I am also very, very ticklish. I have never biten ...I am also very, very ticklish. I have never biten down on anyones balls before (but what an interesting idea......) but i have elbowed more than one guys solar plexus. When you are very ticklish it really can be painful to be tickled for more than a couple of seconds. What gives with the guys that do that shit???Faerihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00401687526950999987noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2904551769624343498.post-91086753943933085152009-10-29T11:58:19.067-07:002009-10-29T11:58:19.067-07:00“Here's your choice: while I “Master” my mind,...“Here's your choice: while I “Master” my mind, you can “Master” bate"<br /><br />Fkn hilarious! Thanks, catimbroglio456https://www.blogger.com/profile/00709140952653145626noreply@blogger.com